Starrks Lazy Adventure
by Dimitri Evanson
Summary: Starrk, A lonely bartender, is having an odd day when he stumbles upon a girl in an alleyway. Deciding to help her, he is soon sucked up into her crazy life as part of the Las Noches mob! Rated T caus im paranoid.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I decided to try my hand at chaptered fics. Tell me how I do!

Summary: Coyote Starrk, a lonely bartender, comes upon a young girl in an alleyway. Little does he know what her life entails, and is soon dragged into a world of mobsters and lies.

Thoughts are in italics.

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><p>Chapter 1: meetings<p>

_What a dreary morning, _Thought Coyote Starrk as he drug himself from his bed. Letting out a muffled yawn into his hand, he shuffled to his dresser, pulling out a simple white tee and a pair of jeans. As he proceeded to the adjacent bathroom to take a shower, Starrk banged his toe on the doorframe in his half-awake state.

"Ow," he half-heartedly exclaimed, "so it's going to be one of those days, huh?"

Returning to his original plan of taking a shower, slightly more awake now due to his throbbing toe, he slipped off his nightshirt and sweatpants, wincing when the fabric brushed over his injured toe. Taking another look at it, he saw he had cracked the nail and it was bleeding slightly. With a heavy sigh he reached up to the mirror cabinet on the wall for some antiseptic, but he paused to look at his reflection. The man that stared back at him shoulder length brown hair, a faded goatee, and grey eyes. Deeming the scruff of hair on his chin could go a little longer without a shave; he opened the cabinet, took out some antiseptic and put it on his toe, along with a waterproof Band-Aid. Stepping into the shower, he turned on the water and steam filled the room.

Stepping out of the bathroom feeling clean and refreshed, Starrk cast his eye over his apartment. It was a small dwelling with sparse furnishing and a hallway that led to the bedroom. There was a decently sized open kitchen by the door with an electric stove that had a microwave over it inset the cabinets, and refrigerator stood on the other side. A dining room area was located just outside the kitchen with a table that had two chairs at it, which Starrk found amusing considering he lived alone and never had company. The living room had a white couch and matching recliner chair that was set next to a giant bookcase that dominated the whole wall. An end table housed a reading lamp and a medley of dog-eared books. Across from the couch was a flat screen TV sitting on another cabinet used for movie storage.

Noting that he needed to vacuum when he got home, due to the slight grey hue the carpet was taking on; he grabbed his keys off the end table, slipped on his shoes, and headed out the door into the cold, rainy dawn.

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><p>"Jack Daniels, please."<p>

"Right away," Starrk replied, giving the man his drink, "will you need a cab sir?"

"No thanks." The man chuckled as he walked away from the bar, stumbling when he almost hit a chair.

"Sure you don't," Starrk muttered, calling one anyway. One of the reasons Starrk put up with his bartending job was to prevent people from harming themselves and others. Other than that, he only took the job because he lived close and it paid the rent.

"Yo, Starrk," Timothy, Starrk's boss, shouted, "Your shifts over."

"Alright." Starrk called back, removing his red bartending vest.

Wading his way through the mass of dancing bodies, Starrk found his way to the door, escaping into the cool night air. Taking a deep breath, he paused, hearing a faint whimper coming from the alleyway. Natural curiosity getting the better of him, Starrk walked over to the alley and was surprised at what he saw. There in the alley was a young girl who looked no more than about 13 years old. She had a strange helmet covering up her light green hair that appeared to have two horns, one of which had been broken off, and an eyepiece that covered her right eye. She was dressed in an open leather jacket with a tank top underneath and matching short shorts. Aware of the perverts that came out of the bar, Starrk took action.

"I can't just leave you here," Starrk mumbled as he slung the girl over his shoulder, "so I guess you're coming home with me." Starrk turned on his heel and started his trek home. _What a strange day._

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><p>AN: Done! Did ya like it? Too long? Too short? I won't be posting the next chapter until I get some feedback so I know people are actually reading. I'm not going to be a stickler for reviews, but a few here and there to know that someone's enjoying my work would be nice. Those who do review will get cyber cookies!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Dang it, now I'm friggen obligated to update! Ha-ha kidding love you guys for reviewing! I swear I got tons of creeped out looks from my brother when I was happy dancing xD Thanks to my brother who beta'd this.

"_An apple a day will keep anyone away if you throw it hard enough."_

Chapter 2: The unpleasant house guest

In general, Lilynette Gingerback was not one to be taken by surprise. However, when she suddenly found herself inside a strange apartment, she felt slightly surprised and very panicked. _Oh kami, I've been raped! _She franticly thought, checking herself for signs of violation. Quickly running her hands over her body, she was relived to find all her clothes, skimpy as they might be, still in place.

"Phew!" Lilynette sighed; glad to find that she was still decent. Noticing her head felt lighter, she ran her hand through her pale-green locks. Confirming that her helmet was gone, she glanced around, quickly locating it on an end table. After putting it back on, she moved off the couch, cautiously moving around the small room. _Not much here, _she thought, _but might as well try and make a few bucks. _Moving to the kitchen, she opened the freezer to check for frozen cash.

"Nothing but frozen waffles," she mumbled, slightly peeved that her first guess was wrong. Moving back to the living room, she froze next to the counter when footsteps startled her from the entryway.

Whirling around, Lilynette grabbed the nearest projectile, a lemon, and yelled, "Who's there? Be careful what you answer because I'm armed! With… Citrus!"

"Oh, you're awake now," Starrk yawned from the doorway," and wielding fruit? Put it down, it must be terrified."

"Shut up!" She snarled. "First, what are you on? Lemons don't have feelings! Second, give me an explanation for the kidnapping and all your cash!"

"You're not really in a position to make demands," the tall brunette man replied, "But I picked you up so that none of the drunkards would get to you."

"You mean so they wouldn't get me first," the small green-haired girl scoffed, "I know your type. Pick up defenseless girls and then try to seduce them with the 'nice guy' act! You get laid and it's all legal!"

"If you want to, leave," Starrk offered, "I'm not keeping you here. Door's that way." He pointed at the door and turned around to get more sleep, having been woken up by Lilynette's 'stealthy' snooping.

"H-Hey! No one tells me what to do," she huffed as she marched to the table, "now make me breakfast."

"Why would I do that?" he questioned.

"It's the least you can do after kidnapping me," her cheeky response came.

"Kidnapping implies I took you from your place of residence, which I highly doubt that alleyway was."

"Sure is. Prime slice of Real Estate I got there, now chop-chop with the cooking! Oh, and John would like some to."

"John?"

"The lemon," Lilynette stated blankly.

"John lemon..? I'm afraid I only have two seats," Starrk smoothly replied.

"The floor looks plenty comfy Kidnapper-Sama."

"Oh, I forgot to vacuum yesterday," Starrk muttered with distain. "I guess I'll just get that done now. What do you want while I'm tidying up?"

"WE'LL have fried eggs, sunny side up, intact yokes, with bacon and a salad on the side."

"Uh-huh, how about frozen waffles and cheap syrup?" Starrk proposed as he produced said items from the refrigerator.

"Sound fabulous Pervert-Sama."

For the next half hour, the only sounds that could be herd were the toaster ticking, vacuum running and Lilynette yelling at Starrk when he fell asleep standing over the cleaning contraption. The monotony was only broken when the toaster dinged and Starrk jolted awake for the fifth time (Lilynette was keeping count), got the waffles and presented them the his guest, who proceeded to smother them with a quarter of the bottle of syrup. For the sake of not being yelled at, he also slid one of the waffles to the lemon. Having had an idea, he quickly shuffled to the kitchen and retrieved a sharpie and presented it to Lilynette.

"What's this for?" She asked.

"How will John eat without a mouth?" he replied.

Grinning, Lilynette popped the cap off the sharpie and grabbed the lemon. Sticking her tongue slightly out, she held the fruit and drew a line and two circles with dots in them. Thinking again, she added a mustache with curled ends.

"Nice touch." Starrk noted when he looked over her shoulder.

"Why thank you Captor-Sama."

"My name is Starrk."

"Funny name" Lilynette shrugged and downed the rest of the waffles. "Did you enjoy yours John?" looking over, she saw that the waffle had disappeared. "WHAT HAPPENED THERE?"

"What's the yelling for?" Starrk inquired, following her finger and noticing the missing waffle. "That's odd."

"It's ODD? A whole waffle disappears and you think it's ODD?"

"Stranger things have happened." Starrk said with a shrug.

"Like what?"

"Well-" he was cut off by a sharp knock on the door.

"I wonder who that is…" Starrk walked over and opened it. "Figures, it's you."

A/N: Dun-dun-duuuun! Hope you enjoy this cliffy! Aren't I the worst :P I'll be trying to update this story every other week, so expect the next installment then. So, too long? Too short? I'm hoping I got Starrk's character right. Feedback makes me update and gives you better chapters, so review! Those who do get cookies.


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